My Evenings in 3 Acts... Dinnertime: The Musical

As I help other parents get dinner on the table in an over-scheduled environment, I can’t help but recall the time when my kids were pee-wees and the daily struggle I faced. In fact, I felt it was worthy of being a musical. And I wrote this outline one night out of sheer frustration. Maybe you can relate . . .

The first act begins at 4:30 PM, with the musical number, “I’m still hungry,” sung in a high-pitched whine by the award-winning (and she gets the award for the most repetitive whining in a single minute) toddler, AJ! 

She’ll then break into song (only in my head is it a song. In real life it’s a high-pitched whine) about how she’s still hungry, as I list all the veggies in the house she can eat.  Of course none will suit her insatiable palate so I just plug her whining with a carrot.   

Right after she’s plugged, the infant starts his solo of, “I Know You Just Fed Me, BUT I’m Still Hungry.” This is sung in a cute infant cry, high-pitched as well. AJ will pipe in with commentary during his solo, always pointing out the obvious, “I think he’s hungry,” while I shake his bottle. We take a brief intermission from any prepping of the evening meal to feed the infant. 

Act Two opens with my husband coming home and me handing off both kids to him so I can finish making dinner. This number, “The Parent Shuffle,” is a duet sung by an exhausted mom, played by me, and a tired dad, played by my husband.   

Toward the end of the act we all sit down to dinner. The dialogue for this part of the show is the following: “AJ, please don’t touch your feet while you eat,” “Yes, that’s too big for your brother to eat. He doesn’t eat food, remember?” Lastly, “The table, chair and floor have eaten more than you.” 

At the end of the meal AJ reprises her solo, “I’m Still Hungry.” Shortly after that, the infant chimes in with his reprise of, “I Know You Just Fed Me BUT I’m Still Hungry.” 

For the finale my husband and I bow our heads, once again beaten by a toddler and an infant as a sympathetic orchestra plays a piece called, “Will They or Won’t They Survive?” The music swells as the curtain falls. And by curtain, I’m talking about the food-laden tablecloth.

The End.

How would the musical number at your dinnertime prep go?

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Tags : confessions   motherhood   toddlers   humor   

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