4 Apps for Finding Mom Friends (and Tips for Keeping Them!)
Even though you’re super busy with a new baby, the isolation and loneliness can be downright depressing at times. It would be nice to connect with another mom to get support, share experiences, and parenting advice. Sure, there are local groups that cater to moms and babies you can join, but it doesn’t mean you’re going to find a perfect mom match.
Here are four apps to find mom friends in your neighborhood, and tips on playing nice:
The Peanut app uses the data on your Facebook profile to help you connect with like-minded moms. You can swipe up to “wave” to another mom, or swipe down to skip their profile. Although the Facebook profile algorithms will provide matches based on location, education, career, etc., moms can choose badges to describe their personality, such as “spiritual gangster,” “hot mess,” dance machine,” and “city gal.” This app is perfect for new moms, but women with children up to age 16 can join.
MomCo has a little of everything. It’s a place to connect with other local moms with similar aged kids and interests, and has forums for sharing your expertise or getting the advice you seek. It’s also a good tool to find services, products, and other resources for the family. Moms can arrange playdates and keep tabs on local events, as well as save some cash with exclusive local deals.
Smilemom is an online community where you connect and get advice from moms in your neighborhood. Set up playdates with other moms who have kids of a similar age, and buy and sell used baby and kid clothes and other kid-related items.
Hello Mamas is for all moms, and you can join no matter what stage of life you’re in. Start your own mom groups, arrange playdates for your children, or even playdates for yourself! If you have a child with asthma, peanut allergy, or other special needs, it can feel isolating, but with this app, you can build a village of moms with kids just like yours so you don’t have to go at it alone.
Now that you’ve found a friend or two, maintain good vibes with these tips for a mutually satisfying friendship.
Tame Down Texting
It’s exciting to connect with someone with similar interests, but you may want to reign it in a bit and not go overboard with constant texting, especially in the beginning. If you’re not sure how much is too much, just go with the flow and reciprocate in turn. Remember, even though texting is instant, your new friend may be trying to get a colicky baby to sleep, so don’t freak out or get offended if she doesn’t respond right away.
You may be an open book, but your new friend may be a bit more guarded with personal or family issues. You may be tempted to share what lame thing your partner said about your mom or how your C-section scar is oozing, but that may be a little too much in the beginning. Get to know each other a little better first and ask semi-surface level questions, like how long they have lived in your neighborhood, what they like about it, or what their family is like. If your friend responds with short answers, they might not be ready to dive any deeper just yet. In time, they may be more trusting and comfortable and share more.
Not all moms you meet on a mommy app want your two-cents worth. Unsolicited advice is, well, unwelcome. You don’t want to be “that mom” who frequently offers subtle, unsolicited advice on parenting styles, discipline or nutrition. Honesty is an essential key in relationships, but wait until your friendship has matured more before treading on personal matters.
Putting on Airs
You may be tempted to impress your new friend by extolling the achievements of your kid or your latest accomplishments, but if you constantly rave about the latest milestones of your overachieving toddler, their admittance into an exclusive pre-school, or an appointment with the most sought-after pediatrician, the only impression you’ll leave is a negative one. Research shows most of us are attracted to people that are humble and somewhat vulnerable. Be comfy in your own skin!
Take note of an upcoming birthday, offer up a casserole when their family is hit with the flu, or just be a listening and non-judgmental ear when she’s having a bad day and wants to run away. Empathy, sensitivity and being responsive to a friend’s needs will help cultivate a long-lasting friendship.
What are some of your favorite ways to meet new mom friends? Share your tips with us!Tags : relationships motherhood