7 Phrases Every Daughter Needs to Hear
Guess what . . . That old "sticks and stones" saying? It's not true. Words can be more powerful than actions sometimes.
And if you have a daughter . . . why, those words are going to mean a lot. Of course, you’re going to have to talk about the big ticket items – periods, sex, dating, careers, and so forth. And then there’s all the girlie drama stuff – so and so said this, wore that, drove here, went there… And don’t get me started on all the love stuff – “Why isn’t he texting?” “Will I be asked to the prom?”
But what about the simple stuff? The easy-to-overlook stuff that you should be saying every day? Those are what are really going to shape her. So while you work on the mega topics– the drama and the love stuff– keep a conversation going with your daughter, letting her know how much she means to you.
You can start by telling her these seven things:
1. You Are Beautiful . . . As a Person
Even the most confident girl needs to be told she is beautiful. But make sure she understands that beauty isn't just about physical appearance. It's great to feel attractive, but beauty is so much more. Your girl should know that she is beautiful because of her soul. Her compassion. Her smile. All of the things that make her who she is – those things are beautiful. And because society is bound to be hard on her and set certain standards that it says she should follow, she needs to hear how beautiful she is from her parents. Every. Day.
2. You Are Smart
Since women have been fighting for equality for so long, they need to know that they are just as smart as their male counterparts. (Some would argue that women are actually smarter.) And since you want to raise a daughter who values intelligence and education, let yours know how awesome it is that she is learning the ways of the world.
Start telling her this as early as possible. She'll hear you, even if you think she can't. And it will motivate her to work even harder at gaining knowledge and being successful. Don't just emphasize book smarts, though, because learning how to take care of herself and maneuver this crazy thing called life is just as important.
3. You Can Do It
Whatever it is, she can do it. With hard work and dedication, she will succeed. When there's a will, there's a way. Let your daughter know how much you support her, no matter what she chooses to do with her life. Does she want to go to medical school? Awesome! Does she aspire to help impoverished children? Excellent! Does she want to have a big family and stay home to raise her children? Go for it! Your daughter can conquer anything she sets her mind to – tell her this, so she knows you're behind her.
4. You Are Worth the Wait
Society has long told women that in order to be "complete," they must have a man. And that in order to get a man, she must change who she is. She must look a certain way, act a certain way, and do whatever it takes to make her man happy. But you want your daughter to love herself enough to know these things aren't true. Your daughter should know that she doesn't have to settle, and that the right partner will come along at the right time. And when he does, he won't complete her. He will complement her. Even if it takes 40 years, your daughter needs to know that she is a valuable, worthy girl that any person would be lucky to have in his life. After all, you love her to pieces!
5. You Are Loved
Yes, mommy and daddy love their baby girl so much! And she needs to know this. Not only that she is the love of your life, but that your love for her is unconditional. That no matter what happens in her life, no matter what decisions she makes, you'll love her. And while it's important that she hears this from you, it's also good to show her that you love her in physical forms – with hugs, kisses, and cuddles. Squeeze those in while you can, because pretty soon she'll start pushing you away.
6. You Can Express Your Emotions
It's pretty well known that women tend to get emotional. This isn't because they are more emotional than men, but because they have been raised to believe that expressing your emotions is alright. And it is! After all, your daughter is a human being, with real feelings. She will experience happy times in her life, and she will have some really crappy moments. Regardless of the cards she’s dealt, let her know that reacting to those circumstances with whichever emotion feels comfortable to her does not make her weak.
7. You Are Capable
Just because certain tasks have been deemed "a man's job," doesn't mean they are. And you are going to make sure that your daughter is well equipped to handle life on her own. Teach her how to change the oil, change a tire, and mow the lawn. Take her to a sports game or a NASCAR race. Just because she's a girl doesn't mean she can only do girly things. Convey to your daughter that you're proud of her for taking initiative in a man's world.
What are some of the things you feel you need to tell your daughter every day?